During all of my new school fun and engineering adventures – to say nothing of the excitement of parenting two teenagers and a pre-schooler – I'd gotten far away from music. The Maestro and I had reunited for a show or two, but in general I’d gotten far away from creative self-expression.
This changed when I got the opportunity to direct musical theater in 1999. Annette had done some shows with a local theater group, and they needed directors, and though my own theater experience was far in the past, I thought it might be fun.
I directed Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat at a local theater in the summer, and had the time of my life! I made many new friends, and though you’d think such an undertaking would take away from family life, the theater actually became a family activity: my sons Steve and Trey as well as Annette were all in the show. And – best of all! - I got to break out all my keyboard gear and do the music for the show personally.
The show broke the theater records for attendance and money earned, and I came back the following year to direct Guys and Dolls – which I’d performed myself back at Franklin County High.
Many of the cast from my previous show returned for this one, and once again I did all the music. But this time, a rollerblading accident led me to great ADD misfortune. Did I say “rollerblading accident”? Not quite accurate; I wasn’t truly rollerblading at the time of the injury – I was trying to walk down a hill in my roller blades. That’s not so much an “accident” as a breathtaking lack of judgment.
I had a fractured ankle, the first bone injury of my life, and was on crutches. The doctor had prescribed Darvocet for the considerable pain I was in, a Percocet-like drug that was so strong it has since been rejected by the FDA. This made me loopy, to say the least; but I can’t blame the drug for what ultimately happened.
Guys and Dolls is a fun musical romp about lovable New York City rogues who run a floating gambling operation, into which stumbles an attractive street mission worker – in our case, played by a beautiful young woman with a stunning voice and a temper. I was warned about her going in, but I let it slide – she was simply too perfect for the role.
The ADD adult will, from time to time, lose all social filter function and say exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time. It happens to us all. And, again, I’d love to blame the Darvocet, but there came a rehearsal when our costume folks decked our lead actress out in her Salvation Army outfit and brought her out for me to review.
With a dozen people watching, I said, “You look truly amazing, just perfect!” This fetched a smile, and nodding approvals from the costume team. If only I’d left it at that; but I proceeded to say, “You are almost as beautiful as Johnny Depp!”
Why I chose Johnny Depp, rather than Matt Damon or Brad Pitt, I cannot say. Perhaps it is because I had recently seen The Astronaut’s Wife. I can only thank Almighty Zeus that I didn’t say John Malkovich or Steve Buscemi. Or Keith Richards.
Her face froze, and she turned and stomped off. Everyone else was speechless. Horror-stricken.
The assistant director was able to convince her that it was the Darvocet talking, and she calmed down. I later managed to top it - but that story is too mortifying for print, and the point has been made:
Don’t walk downhill in roller blades...
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