Boys flirt.
Grown-Ass Men flirt, too, but they know the difference between boy flirting and Grown-Ass Man flirting. Boys flirt in the moment; Grown-Ass Men do the Long Flirt.
The Long Flirt isn’t about the moment; not that the Grown-Ass Man doesn’t feel frisky in the moment, of course he does – but the Long Flirt is about moments down the road.
The Long Flirt sends the message Wow, you make my socks roll up and down, just like the in-the-moment flirt – but it also sends the more important message Wow, you make me think about a new and better future.
The in-the-moment flirt acknowledges her form; the Long Flirt acknowledges her substance. A Grown-Ass Man not only knows the difference, he’s utterly fixated on that substance; he understands that anything less is unworthy of him – and her.
The in-the-moment flirt signals you’ve got my attention; the Long Flirt signals you’ve got my long-term investment.
All women (and all men, for that matter) want to feel attractive and desired, and so the in-the-moment flirt can amuse her and make her feel good at times – but that’s not what she’s looking for. She’s waiting, often in vain and exhausted, for the Long Flirt. She’s learned the hard way that all too few men even realize there’s such a thing.
The Grown-Ass Man understands that the Long Flirt has little to do with sex. She may be open to that, it’s possible she could be bedded following the right combination of looks and jokes – but if so, it’s not about him or the sex. Many are the women who will do the adolescent dance because being in someone’s arms, even fleetingly, can be a comfort when the ache is deep and the loss has been staggering, and the pain is so great that tears won’t even come anymore. The Grown-Ass Man won’t even think about going there; he can sense that pain and understand that loss and would much rather send the message I want to be there for you, today, tomorrow, and all the days that follow, and share your burdens and offer you joy...
The in-the-moment flirt says I love what I see! The Long Flirt says I love who you are...
The boy says, with deep yearning, go to bed with me; the Grown-Ass Man says, with even deeper yearning, grow old with me...
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