Behavioral professionals have been quick to note that today, three-plus years into the Covid-19 pandemic, most people are experiencing what they call a friendship recession.
Most people, statistics are showing, have fewer close friends today than they did before the pandemic hit.
The Survey Center on American Life defines it specifically: “a friendship recession describes an uptick in the average time spent alone, the number of friends one has and overall time devoted to friendship.” In a 2021 survey, the SCAL determined that “over the past three decades, the number of close friends Americans have has plummeted.”
The problem seems to have hit men harder than anyone – the number of men with six or more close friends has dropped from 55% to 27%, and the number of men saying they have no close friends has increased from 3% to 15% - but “nonetheless, the friendship recession affects everyone.”
Derek Thompson of the Plain English podcast concurs: “[The friendship recession] “seems to be true for every age group, for every gender, for every income level, for people in metro and non-metro areas, for white and nonwhite, living with a spouse or partner, not living with a spouse or partner. Everyone seems to be spending more time alone.”
This deficit, and the subsequent loneliness people are experiencing, is deeply harmful, according to Richard Reeves, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution. He wrote that loneliness can be as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Though Covid was the single greatest contributor to the friendship recession phenomenon in recent times, it has existed for three decades now: people have been experiencing less face-to-face interaction in the years since the Internet went public than they did before.
In the Nineties, 33% of adults in the US reported having 10 or more close friends; today, according to a 2021 American Perspectives Survey, only 13% make that claim.
Economist Bryce Ward expands on the friend recession phenomenon beyond the pandemic itself; reliance upon social media technology has risen as the availability of group activities has declined in recent years, he wrote.
“We’re exercising more alone... we’re shopping more alone,” he continued. “Time in Rotary Clubs and bowling leagues and all that stuff... had all fallen. Time with neighbors had fallen.”
For those who are dissatisfied with this new development in our society, there’s no fix but to fix it, per Dr. Marisa Franco, formerly of Georgia State University.
“Friendships don’t just happen. In fact, the belief that they happen organically can hinder our chances of making friends,” she wrote. Proactively joining groups and clubs with intentionality, aggressively pursuing new connections, is the way to push back, she said.
Making new friends takes real work. A 2018 study by Jeffrey Hall et al in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships says it takes 50 hours of face time to make a casual friend, and 90 hours to make a good one.
“In being intentional about our relationships now,” she wrote, “we are curating our future lives. If we envision a world for ourselves where we are thriving with connection, surrounded by people we love and who love us, then we have to start building that world now.”
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