It may interest you to know, gentle reader, that texting has far surpassed the phone call as humanity’s primary channel of remote communication.
It’s true! The days of written letters and phone calls are behind us; email and texting are the way to go, and of the two, texting is far and away the most convenient – and the most effective!
Yes, my brother, texting is the long-awaited pinnacle of reaching out and touching someone – particular that special someone! Lend me your ears, and Uncle Scott will walk you through it.
Let’s start with Text vs. Email. Let’s say you need to share some deep thoughts and feelings with your S.O. What happens if you choose email? Well, you’re likely to think carefully about what you want to say, and organize it well, perhaps cutting and pasting here and there; you’re likely to read through what you’ve written several times, revising and clarifying before you hit Send. Right?
I ask you, is that any way to communicate with your loved one? Doesn’t it seem contrived? Artificial? Disingenuous? We don’t do this sort of emotional rewrite in a text, do we? Of course not! Do you really think she wants to read all your inner blah-blah? She’d much prefer a concise, no-nonsense text - spontaneous, shoot-from-the-hip, emotionally untempered. And because typing on a phone is hard, we tend to keep it brief, uncluttered with context and explanation! Be honest, who re-reads a text carefully before hitting Send? I sure don’t!
Now, in both email and text, you and I have a tremendous advantage over previous generations. Did you know that when you strip away the eye contact, body language and vocal tone of face-to-face communication, 93 percent of what is being communicated between you and your lover is also stripped away? When you’re just sending a transcript of what you have to say, you’re down to 7 percent of the actual message content!
What a boon, right? You’ve boiled down your message to the essentials, disposing of all that confusing noise in the signal! No more awkward, disarming eye contact, unsettling you as you scramble to gather your thoughts! No more of that baffling vocal tone, forcing you to choose between three possible meanings for the same words! No more distracting body language (that you never learned to read, anyway)! You’re getting right down to it.
One by one, we brush away the other Text competitors: phone calls? Nah, there’s the vocal tones. Facetime? Nah, there’s that eye contact.
Sitting down and talking, face to face? Well, it is of course a necessary evil in any relationship (a long term one, anyway), so it can’t be dispensed with altogether; but then you have all three of these gremlins, back again. My advice? When you’re actually in the same room, avoid talking about relationship matters at all costs! You can always text it later!
Now, a few of my female friends have taken exception (some might say umbrage) to my suggestions here, arguing that text is bereft of emotional expression, no matter how fluid one’s way with words. To that I say, Learn How to Use Emojis!!! Isn’t that what they’re for? 😂😂😂
And if that isn’t enough, there’s always one tried-and-true path to the female heart: if your relationship dialog is faltering, surprise her with an unexpected pic of the Little Commander, at full salute. It will both amuse and endear her, and set right your emotional connection! She’ll love it!
In summary, the world’s rapid shift to text as the bridge in our relationships isn’t just for the best, it’s a godsend! Buck up and get with the program today, and give up the email, the phone, and the face-to-face! She’ll fall in love with you all over again.
Trust your Uncle Scott, your personal relationship guru!
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