When I was a boy, grade-school-age, discovering Batman for the first time, I found his enemies thrilling.
Out front was, of course, the Joker – the incomparable Cesar Romero, with his chilling cackle and menacing body english. Right behind him were the Penguin and the Riddler – Burgess Meredith and Frank Gorshin, respectively – the former with his sinister monocle and the latter with his spastic limbs. And, of course, the elegant and seductive Catwoman – Julie Newmar, more often than not.
I never tired of this colorful quartet, and never questioned how they could all be so adept at breaking out of prison every couple of weeks, returning to confront the Caped Crusader with almost digital periodicity.
They were, of course, mere caricatures of their actual comic book counterparts, who were bona fide sociopaths and murderers of staggering proportion. And they, in turn, had colleagues who would never have found acceptance on what was basically a children’s program, so dark were they in the rendering.
Two-Face. Poison Ivy. Harley Quinn.
It will not surprise the Gentle Reader that these childhood associations find expression in my survey of contemporary politics, where the players are unquestionably cartoonish – and yet decidedly sociopathic.
If only he were capable of laughter, for instance, Donald Trump would make a fine Joker. This may not be immediately resonant, but consider: 1) he always reappears, no matter how crushingly defeated he is; 2) he intimidates all the other villains, even those who are more powerful; 3) no degradation of the human spirit is beneath him, and 4) he is always buried under makeup.
What about Penguin? Consider that Oswald Cobblepot is a political soul, deeply entangled in Gotham’s criminal underworld. That seems to describe Trump, of course, but I’ll put up Ron DeSantis as the leading candidate for Penguin: he’s a bona fide political player, rather than a poser, with no compunction or moral restraint whatsoever when it comes to dishing out harm and retribution.
Catwoman introduces a thread of moral ambiguity (and, perhaps, schizophrenia), indulging in criminality without a second thought while stumping for what’s righteous in private with Bruce Wayne. Isn’t that Sarah Palin? And the Riddler? Poor Edward Nigma has no real friends, and his criminal compulsions serve to do little more than render him a convenience to the other rogues in the gallery. Sounds like Kevin McCarthy to me.
Well, that covers the classic Bat-Villains. But what about the newer, creepier ones?
Poison Ivy, for instance, is far darker than the Catwoman, who is a mere jewel thief. Ivy is homicidal to the core, and her weapon of choice is toxicity. Her every touch is venomous, and she spreads poison all around her with every word and step. One cannot help but recall Marjorie Taylor Greene. Likewise, Harley Quinn – once the Joker’s psychotherapist – is a killer without conscience, but display greater variety with weaponry. Gun nut Lauren Boebert fits in well there.
The problem is: the politicians named above simply don’t compare to their Bat-villain counterparts in the brains department. The raw truth of it is that most of the Dark Knight’s nemeses are, in fact, brilliant – and the GOP’s current all-stars are anything but.
Pondering Batman’s foes, two in particular stand out as brilliant thinkers: Ra’s Al Ghul and Two-Face. The former is a centuries-old warlord-turned-assassin; the second is a former Gotham district attorney of unparalleled talent. Are there worthy analogs in today’s GOP?
For Ra’s, alas, no; he’s so smart, so unstoppable, so astonishingly competent that no Republican can match him. But Two-Face – yes, there’s someone out there with Harvey Dent smarts and talent, so morally scrambled that he can do the wrong thing and the right thing, back-to-back. He can cheat his opposition out of their Constitutionally-mandated judicial appointments in the morning, then denounce the Jan. 6 attacks that same afternoon. He is, of course, Mitch McConnell.
Is this whole exercise silly? Of course it is. But it’s also a good emotional safety valve, in these troubled times. It’s like all of the United States is now a Gotham City with twilight falling, and the shadows are teeming with villains. I mean, if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry...
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