And now, young son, your Uncle Scott is going to guide you across the hazardous terrain of housekeeping.
You’re already familiar with the admonitions of Admiral William H. McRaven as regards the making of your bed. I’ll expand on that.
At the beginning of any new relationship, it’s essential that you not only make your bed, but present to your new love interest a ship-shape home all around. I cannot sufficiently underscore the importance of this step.
You’re going to fail miserably, let’s just admit that from the outset. Men are barely capable of even marginal competence in housekeeping at best, and it takes supreme effort to ascend to marginal competence. But don’t let this imminent failure deter you!
Understand: your lady’s first visit to your home is too important to botch. No matter what she says, no matter how she waves a dismissive hand – Oh, I'm sure it’s fine! - it’s an audition, big boy: You’re being carefully scrutinized for your long-term cohabitation potential.
This judgment, however, is not about your efficacy; you’re being judged on your effort. It’s a foregone conclusion that you will fail any white glove test. It’s how hard you try that matters. So go all out!
And even her evaluation of your housekeeping potential isn’t what truly matters here. In the long run, she’s not judging whether you’re too ineffectual to live with – she's judging whether you’re too stupid to live with.
I’ll explain further. There is a priority to housekeeping that cannot be overstressed. Your lady is not looking for a spotless home; she’s looking for a home that has been detoxified in order of descending priority.
Which rooms are well-tended and which are not turn out to be the bottom line. In your man mind, you’re now thinking, Yes!!! My home gym is well-ordered! My man cave is comfy and well-stocked!
Ah, and there lies the rub; while she may suffer your gym for her own workouts, you have low expectations working for you there – she expects your gym to smell like feet. And the man cave? She will go out of her way to never set foot in it.
No, women have curious priorities in this domain. They are looking for detoxification in rooms hosting activities of biological significance: the kitchen, the bathroom, and the bedroom.
If the kitchen, bathroom and bedroom are reasonably sanitary and uncluttered, you’ll get a pass, brother, regardless of the state of the gym or your man cave; the other way around, not so much.
This odd disparity between male and female thinking may seem incomprehensible; the divide is basically about the importance each gender places on the activities that occur in this room and that. What you see as essential, she sees as frivolous, and vice versa. As may be, you are wise to simply abandon your misguided convictions in this area and bow to biological significance. You’ll be well-rewarded. Trust your Uncle Scott!
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